It's My Time

Here I am again wishing the weight gone and yet I have been having gains. This makes me so sad. And pissed. All at the same time. I know I am my own worst enemy. I do well for several days and then I do so bad for a couple of days it ruins those few days I was doing it properly. I have come to the conclusion that I just have to stick to the plan and not have my "free" moments. And by free I don't even necessarily mean overeating. In my mind, I think, oh, it's okay if I don't journal today. I know what I am eating or should be eating. That is not the case. I get too far off track when I do that. 

Good news...It's My Time. I have committed to reading my Bible every day this year and I am half way through my 100 day reading plan that I am on right now. It is now time to apply that same sort of dedication and commitment to my health and weight loss. I want to be that success story. I want to see it in pictures (kind of -- ha!). I want to see it in numbers and those numbers aren't very pretty today. I am not having the changes I expected to be having at this time. With that being said, it's time to get back to basics.

Thankfully, Sunday is the beginning of my week. I have all my FlexPoints to work with. I have exercise plans to come up with. I have to learn to push through the tired and hard times in order to get to the results I want. I am joining the gym tomorrow, which is a great thing. That means I need to be going there at least three times a week for a good cardio workout. Whatever that might look like. I want to train for a 5k. I have read several times I should sign up for an actual race so I have a goal that I am working towards. Yes, that scares me. And I think that is also putting too much on my plate, but I will. I will sign up for a 5k and work towards that goal.

THE NUMBERS: (ugh, they are not pretty today)

Weight: 203.2

Body Fat: 51.2%

Neck: 14.5"

Chest: 38.5"

Waist: 37"

Hips: 50"

Stomach: 49"

BEFORE:

The numbers don't lie, friends. The good news is the numbers can be changed and will be changed. I am going to look back at my food journal from last year and see what I was eating. What have I changed lately that isn't keeping me on track. The numbers may not lie but I can change those numbers with a strong commitment to myself. One of the things that really stands out in my mind this morning about what has changed from last year when I was consistently losing weight...I was walking most days after school/work. I was getting in that little extra cardio. At the time, I didn't think it was that big of a deal. Looking back at it now and what I am doing and not doing, those walks at the end of the day were playing an important part, I believe.

Here we go. Let's get this party started!

Running & Commitment

I want to be a runner. I have wanted to run for a long time. It has been a desire deep in my heart for some time. I admire women who have beautiful running legs and are so strong in that way. I want to be that woman I admire in other people. I started doing the Couch to 5k plan last fall. I completed week 1, which I actually did two times because I didn't feel ready for week 2. I have done just a couple of days of week 2 at two different times. I have never fully committed. I always seemed to have a ready excuse...like the time change because it was getting dark sooner after I got home from work. 

I have been following Weight Watchers but haven't committed hard to it. I do well for several days and then derail with not tracking points or having too many chocolates or binging on food after work simply because I am hungry, bored, stressed, no real good reason. I haven't been sleeping well at night or getting enough sleep which is playing a part in the mental aspect of all of this weight loss. 

Today, I weigh 200.4 pounds. I don't want to be in the 200s. I got out of them last year and didn't plan on going back, but here I am on the cusp of them. I am saying good-bye to the 200s today and they are not allowed back in my life....ever! I haven't measured my body in quite some time, that will happen next Saturday, measurements and pictures. It's time to have physical proof of this journey and really see my body change.

Running & Commitment. There is a reason for that title. I have been doing well since 2013 started to get in my exercise. I work out, usually, four mornings a week. I did promise myself no more just being lazy and I have to do at least three days of exercise and I have done that this calender year. 

Back to the title...Running & Commitment....I am committing to myself to count all my food, the good and the bad, I am staying away from the ugly though! I am going to commit to eating my points each day and using my 49 FlexPoints each week. I am committing to my workouts each morning. More importantly, I am committing to my run training. This week, I will be running on Tues and Thurs afternoon and Saturday morning. I will be doing Week 2 of Couch to 5k. 

Running & Commitment. Those are my words this week!